Gerrit: 11 Months

September 30, 2015November 5, 2015 nk3302 Comments

Ahhh, 1 month until my baby is a year old! I am in full blown first-birthday-party planning mode, although I’m trying not to go overboard with it. Social media sets the bar high with birthday parties, but I’m determined not to go crazy!

Age: 11 months on 27 September 2015
Weight: 23 lbs
Height: 30 inches
Teeth: 4
Clothing Size: 12 months & 12-18 months
Diaper Size: size 3
Milestones: cruising, climbing stairs, taking steps, waving, pointing, handing us items, shaking his head “no,” a lot more babbling, saying “Dada” and “dat” (that), vocal volume (whispering and yelling)

Sleeping: I’m getting really used to broken sleep at night. We’ve had some pretty rough nights this month again. We were dealing with yet another Mental Leap (Wonder Week #7 – The World of Sequences), which really hurt Gerrit’s sleep. Sometimes it seems to affect him more at night (we’ve had up to 8… yes, EIGHT night wakings), while other times it really kills his naps. He had days of 30-45 minute naps (normal naps are 90 minutes to 2 hours) as well as a few days where he totally boycotted nap time and skipped one completely. Those were fun days.

Unfortunately, most of Gerrit’s nights had 5 or more night wakings. I’ve tried just rocking him back to sleep, but he gets really mad if I don’t offer the boob. And I’m not in the mood to argue about it at 2 in the morning, so boob it is. Despite all the wakings, he still managed to get between 10 & 11 hours of sleep most nights, which isn’t terrible. I’d really like him to get 11 hours a night, but you can’t force a baby to sleep. Or if you can, I haven’t figured out how!

Gerrit had 3 days this month where he only got 1 nap in. It really pissed me off when those days happened. I take it personally when I can’t get him to nap for some reason. But I used to feel the same way when I couldn’t get a kid to nap at the CDC I worked at too. I saw it as a failure on my part if a nap was short or if it got skipped completely. Why do I feel that way?? Like I said above, you can’t force a baby to sleep. Most days, his nap hours totaled between 2 and 3 hours, which is good. Apparently, babies this age should be sleeping at least an hour per nap, so Gerrit is pretty much on track.

I feel like Gerrit does pretty well with making up sleep when he doesn’t sleep well. For example, if he doesn’t get a lot of sleep at night, he tends to sleep better for naps. And if he gets crappy naps, he tends to sleep in the next morning for me, which feels awesome. I have read that babies often sleep really poorly when they are learning to stand and walk. So I hope that when he conquers that milestone, he will sleep better! I just have to keep hoping for improvement.

Eating: My son has been obsessed with my boobs this month. I mean, Gerrit wants to nurse all the time! I feel like he often just wants to comfort nurse and get some cuddles, which is totally fine. It’s when he wants to comfort nurse while standing or climbing that doesn’t work so well. I’m thankful he isn’t too bad with his teeth with all the moving around he does. Crazy baby.

In terms of solids, Gerrit was really hit or miss with meals this month. Sometimes he did pretty well, other times I felt like he just played around and made up for it nursing later on. I’m really trying not to worry about it, since I’m told “food before 1 is just for fun,” but he is quickly approaching his first birthday. I don’t expect his eating patterns to change overnight, so I am a little concerned. He’s still gaining weight, but I wonder how much of that is from breast milk and how much is from solid food.

Mommy Update: I’m hanging in there, haha. The broken sleep has become normal to me again, and I don’t like that. I’ve needed a nap nearly every morning when Gerrit naps to try to make up some lost sleep. I really want to start getting away from the daily naps since I need to start the job hunt. I don’t want to start a job with my body being used to getting a daily siesta at 9:30 in the morning!

Despite dealing with another Wonder Week, Gerrit has not been terrible mood-wise. I feel like a lot of the “neediness” he normally displays is coming through with the constant nursing and wanting to be held. It’s easy for me to get him to smile and giggle, and he loves playing and interacting with me. When he is a little moody, he really just wants Momma. I feel bad for Andrew when he’s like this, but I don’t know what I can really do about it.

I have been tackling some cleaning and organizing of my craft things, which is something I get done during Gerrit’s afternoon nap. I usually put on some HGTV and get to work (except today… I’m blogging instead haha). This alone time is really good for me. I don’t love cleaning, but I love having some time to myself. So important for me!

Best Moments: I feel like Gerrit has learned a LOT of new things this month! It’s been so fun seeing him master new skills, especially the physical ones. He has come a long way with balance while standing this month. With better balance, he’s also gotten more confident with standing and taking steps. He technically started taking some steps last month, but it was more “moving his feet while falling” haha. I went back and added it to his milestones from last month, but it has really improved in September. Andrew has estimated that he can walk 6-8 feet by himself when he’s focused. We are so proud of him! Practicing walking has been a fun activity for the three of us to do. When Andrew gets home from work, Gerrit can walk between the two of us with lots of cheering and someone to catch him when he loses his balance. Plus I hope it tires him out for bedtime! 😉

I also have loved watching Gerrit’s new facial expressions and hearing his new sounds. I have come to realize that I am always asking him, “What’s that?” both in the house and out and about. I thought he was starting to say “dada,” but instead I think he has been saying “dat” (that) when looking at things outside and around the house. Sometimes he whispers, “Dat” while pointing at something. It’s so cute! Happily, he has also been saying “dada,” although we’re not sure if he really pairs it with Andrew yet. When I ask him, “Where’s Dada?” he looks for Andrew though, so I think he understands the connection to some extent.

Gerrit has definitely been trying to copy more of our facial expressions, and it cracks me up! I’m aware that I make a lot of exaggerated expressions when I interact with him, so I don’t know if that’s why he has recently been making more funny faces or what. He has also acquired some vocal volume! I already mentioned that he whispers “dat” fairly often, but he has also learned how to shout and screech too. We had one dinner where he was yelling happily about something! Andrew and I were pretty amused, although we have no idea what he was telling us.

Likes & Dislikes: Gerrit still loves moving! He no longer army crawls at all; he’s on all fours anytime he’s not standing or trying to walk. And he’s speedy! I suspect that once he gets this walking thing figured out, he will not be walking… he’ll be running everywhere!

20150927_121355 — Happily walking to Momma!

Gerrit still really likes his books. He likes to read one over and over before moving on to another one. Once I say, “The end!” and put it on the floor, he picks it up and hands it back to me. He still loves his lift-the-flap books, and I continue to tape them when he rips another flap out. One of these days he’ll learn what “gentle” means, right??

He also has shown more interest in that caterpillar toy in the picture above. He’s had it since Christmas, but just recently started playing with it. He also likes this caterpillar toy and reading “The Very Hungry Caterpillar.” Not sure if there’s a theme here or just a coincidence, but I’m always glad when he starts playing with new toys!

Gerrit has started showing interest in his stuffed animals. He really doesn’t have many since he didn’t care much about them in the past, but he likes to give them hugs and kisses, which is adorable. He’s also become very attached to Lamby, the little lamb that Andrew bought for him when I was early in my pregnancy.

He likes to suck & chew on Lamby’s ears and tail. It’s cute but kind of gross. Lamby takes frequent baths in the washing machine, pretty much anytime he starts smelling funky. I’ve also purchased Lamby 2.0 if/when it’s necessary to replace the original or at least give the original Lamby a little break.

Speaking of Lamby, Gerrit also really likes to throw everything out of his crib at nap time. If he doesn’t go to sleep right away, all of his stuffed animals and blankets end up tossed out onto the floor. And if I take my time getting him up from a nap, I also end up having to pick up all of the contents of his crib. He likes to drop his cup onto the floor at meals too, so I guess gravity is just fascinating for a 10 month old!

Gerrit is really enjoying playing on his own a lot more, which is wonderful for me. He will play with his puzzle pieces, plastic plates and bowls and measuring cups, his magnet blocks (a new favorite… anyone need an idea for a birthday gift? wink wink), and books. He loves dragging around plastic spoons and chewing on them too. Unfortunately, when he’s playing alone, the only thing I can really do is go on my phone. I tried working on my weekly menu & grocery list, and he was way too curious to let me get away with that! So that’s the goal: Gerrit playing independently while I do something productive!

Some of Gerrit’s dislikes? Getting his diaper changed. Well, really just putting a clean diaper on. As soon as his diaper is off, he rolls and scrambles away, usually to go stand and look out the window with a bare tush. He also is such a wiggle worm when I DO get a hold of him again. Along the same lines, Gerrit is a handful when getting his pajamas on. I certainly work up a sweat getting him ready for bed!

Gerrit still dislikes it when I do anything without him. Cooking dinner is the big one. I’m thankful Andrew is usually there to distract and play with him, but Gerrit still frequently gets underfoot while I’m cooking. I’ve tried putting him in the Ergo on my back, and he wasn’t pleased with it. I tried putting him on my hip in the Ergo, but I didn’t get it figured out before Gerrit got sick of being jostled around. So that’s on my to-do list. I would really like to figure out a way to cook while holding or wearing Gerrit.

The only other thing I can think of that he really dislikes is getting his face washed after meals. He’s getting better about it, but for awhile he got really upset with me when I wiped his mouth.

Memorable Events: Shortly after Gerrit turned 10 months old, we were invited to join our friends at their family’s beach house on the coast for Labor Day weekend. It was hot and humid, which meant we had to battle the mosquitoes, so Gerrit and I didn’t spend a lot of time outside. We still had fun though! I know Andrew had a good time: he got to try his hand at clamming and went for a few kayak rides.

Gerrit enjoyed playing with his friends Nathan and Audrey inside. Nathan is 2-1/2, so he is just fascinating to Gerrit! And Audrey is 6 months younger than Gerrit, so he is intrigued by her, but seems confused by why she won’t play with him haha.

Andrew even took Gerrit for his first kayak ride! Apparently Gerrit really enjoyed it — he loved checking everything out!

After this kayak ride, Andrew and I took Gerrit swimming in salt water for the first time. He loved it! He is such a water baby. I think the salt water probably surprised him a bit, but he really enjoyed splashing around with us.

Another fun event was checking out the children’s museum in Raleigh. It’s a little above Gerrit’s level right now, but he absolutely loves exploring new areas and seeing other babies and children. I can’t wait to take him again!

20150919_111909 — Checking out the mirror wall at Marbles

Marbles, the museum, was so cute. It’s really geared toward preschool and elementary school aged kids, but I was happy they had an infant area for Gerrit to explore. We let Gerrit check out a few other areas, but it will be easier once he’s walking and not sticking absolutely everything in his mouth!

So that was Month #11! Sleep was crappy, but the wake time hours were great! I just love our little guy so much. He brings us so much joy and makes us smile every day. It’s amazing watching Gerrit learn new things and gain confidence with his new skills. I’m so thankful for another month of being at home with him to see things from his perspective and share all of his memories.

20150927_121350 — Wait, I’m 11 months today?!

20150927_121709 — Not big on smiling for the camera… but he’s still cute!

Happy 11 months, my sweet Gerrit! I can’t believe how big you are and how close to your birthday we are getting. We love you so much!

Gerrit: 10 Months

September 2, 2015September 29, 2015 nk3302 Comments

Age: 10 months on 27 August 2015
Weight: 22.5 lbs
Height: 28.75 inches
Teeth: 4
Clothing Size: 12 months
Diaper Size: size 3
Milestones: pulling up to standing, taking steps

Sleeping: Right after Gerrit turned 9 months old, we were still going through a Wonder Week (#6 – Categories), so sleep was not great. And pretty much as soon as he was out of the leap, we were on a trip to Michigan. I think this trip and sleeping in several different places kind of messed him up too. He was just a restless sleeper. Sharing a room with him meant that I heard him tossing and turning throughout the night… so I didn’t sleep great either!

Once we got home from our trip, sleep started getting back on track. Naps became a little better (but still irregular) and night wakings decreased quite a bit. But that only lasted a few days. Things got pretty rough for the rest of the month in terms of night sleep. I have decided I’m blaming it on those 2 top front teeth. They were much worse than the bottom 2 teeth!

Naps seemed unaffected by it, but night sleep was brutal. There’s supposed to be another sleep regression between 8 and 10 months as well, so maybe we were dealing with all of that together… who knows. Most nights in August had 4 or more night wakings. I am happy to say that most of those wakings were brief: I’d nurse him back to sleep within 10 minutes. But there were a few nights where I was back and forth and back and forth trying to get him to settle back down to sleep. Hopefully things improve in month 11!

Eating: I feel like almost to to day, eating solids improved when Gerrit turned 9 months old. I suddenly realized that the food on his tray was disappearing… and not into the recesses of his high chair or the floor! It didn’t appear that he was consuming a lot, but he obviously was. It was pretty exciting!

20150818_085250 — Eating breakfast: French toast and nectarines

Some favorite foods? Blueberries and nectarines are probably his favorite fruits. He still enjoys green veggies, especially broccoli. Although Gerrit will sample any meat, I think he still prefers having a slice of steak or pork to gnaw on. Chicken seems to be a bit dry for him yet, and he’s not impressed with ground beef. Carbs are hit or miss: sometimes he really seems to enjoy pasta and bread and other days it gets swiped to the side for fruit or veg instead. He also LOVES these:

I’ve tried them, and I like them too! I think he probably likes that they have a yummy fruit flavor and that they melt in his mouth pretty quickly. He doesn’t have to work too hard to ingest those!

Breastfeeding is going great! I feel like after Leap #6 (Wonder Week), he started nursing better during the day. I also think Gerrit is getting better at letting me know that he wants to nurse. He either smashes his face into my boob or starts fiddling with my straps. But he still nurses the best right before he sleeps. I’m really starting to cling to these moments of breastfeeding. I can tell that I’m going to be sad to see it end, and I hope he doesn’t rush the weaning process.

Nursing really increased during those weeks of teething with those top teeth. I now know it was comfort nursing, and I’m so glad it was something that comforted Gerrit. I am really hesitant to give pain meds to him since he’s so little, so if he could be comforted by nursing, that is much better in my opinion.

Mommy Update: I feel like I need to do a separate post on Wonder Weeks, because my mood during those times versus “sunny” weeks is very different. As soon as a Wonder Week ends, I absolutely love being with Gerrit. Not that I don’t love being with him all the time, he’s just a lot more demanding during Wonder Weeks. So Wonder Week = stressed out, tired, grumpy Momma. And after it passes, I love my days with my little guy.

We have so much fun together during the day! Sometimes I feel like we really didn’t do anything at all, but we both enjoyed lots of smiles and cuddles, so it must have been a good day, right? 🙂 I will really miss our time together when I have to go back to work.

I was pretty sleep-deprived during this month. I started drinking coffee again (which I hadn’t done regularly since early in my pregnancy) to get through the afternoons. I also took a nap during Gerrit’s morning nap most days — I would barely make it back to my bed sometimes before I passed out!

Best Moments: Gerrit meeting more of my extended family. Everyone was completely smitten with him! He was so friendly and easygoing… I was pleasantly surprised! I was afraid he would have some stranger anxiety, but he did so well.

20150807_134007 — Spending time with Grandma Great

It was great for ALL of us to spend time with family! We had so much fun with my family, and I’m so glad that so many of us were able to get together.

Likes & Dislikes: Gerrit still enjoys being on the move! He crawls all over the place now, although he still does the army crawl when he’s frustrated or tired. He still likes us to walk him around, but he’s pulling up on furniture now (and me when I’m standing in the kitchen!) and walking along. He is still not sure about turning around corners though!

He also enjoys nursing in crazy positions now. He’s rarely content to let me just hold him to nurse unless he’s going to sleep. He likes to stand and bend over to nurse, lay across me, grab his feet and swing his arms around… it’s like breastfeeding a monkey.

Gerrit also loves getting into things! The biggest issue is keeping him away from cords. I’ve had to block off lamp cords in the living room and the cords in our bedroom too. He also likes going into the bathroom and pulling up on the bathtub so he can push his bath toys in.

He still loves books, and his favorites now are lift-the-flap books. This is his absolute favorite. I’ve had to use tape to fix this book several times already. I have started rotating his books and toys to help keep him interested in his toys, minimize wear and tear, and help cut down on clutter and clean up time. Every Monday (“New” Toy Day), Gerrit quickly digs out his favorite books and toys that he hasn’t seen in a few weeks!

Gerrit is playing with one of his favorite toys in the photo above with his cousin Kaiden. Here’s a link to it on Amazon. He started out just enjoying looking at the different sized cups, but he’s starting to try to stack them now. My favorite thing about this toy is that there are several ways to play with it, and I think he will be able to enjoy it for a good amount of time.

Gerrit dislikes being left behind or not being included in things. He hates it when I walk away from him since he can’t keep up with me yet. He’ll normally just crawl after me while vocally complaining, but if he’s tired or cranky, he starts crying, wanting me to pick him up. He doesn’t like it when I’m cooking because he can’t be a part of that. I tried carrying him in the Ergo on my back while cooking, but that just wasn’t good enough for him! All chores include Gerrit: he needs to unfold clothes as I fold them and he tries to crawl into the dishwasher when I load and unload it.

Gerrit also dislikes getting ready for bed. He has never particularly enjoyed getting ready to sleep, but toward the end of the month he really started fighting it. It’s really tough to get a diaper on him as he’s trying to flip himself over the whole time. It’s pretty much a two-man job to get his pajamas on him now. And he gets so upset when he realizes that his fun his over and the parents are going to win again. I seriously need to try to get a video of his shenanigans!

Memorable Events: I think the biggest event for this month was our road trip to Michigan! After a lot of thought, we decided to split the 15 hour drive into two days with a stop near Columbus, OH (we stayed with friends there) to get the best result from Gerrit. He is a very busy little boy, and being stuck in his car seat for hours and hours is really hard on him. He is not the type of baby to just conk out for a nap or two while traveling, which means he needs lots of interaction and entertainment. Because he is not guaranteed to sleep in the car, I felt pretty wary about trying to drive through the night. Especially because that meant minimal sleep for Mommy & Daddy too. Not good!

We planned both driving days to begin shortly before Gerrit’s morning nap. Yes, that meant a later start than we may have wanted, but it also meant we got some relaxation and play time between breakfast and driving. And giving Gerrit the opportunity to burn some energy is always a plus! So he got a morning nap on our driving days, but he refused his afternoon nap those days too. That’s a LONG time for him to be awake, but he also wasn’t able to burn any energy either.

I spent the first part of the driving days in the front seat. It gave Gerrit less distraction when trying to fall asleep for that morning nap, plus I got some time to crochet or just rest. But once he was awake, I moved to the back seat to begin my entertainment routine! I packed a big bag of Gerrit’s favorite books and toys, plus we had his kid music playing on Pandora so I could sing for him too. It worked pretty well, although it was pretty tiring for me.

20150811_163416 — Hello, North Carolina! We’re back!

But it paid off: Gerrit really did quite well on the road trip. I was so anxious about the trip because of our last big road trip (back in February). But I knew he was older and more easily entertained now, so I tried to be optimistic. The trip back down to North Carolina was not as great, because he was over all the driving by that point. In desperation, I actually breastfed while we were driving! I buckled myself into the middle seat, then leaned over into the car seat for Gerrit to nurse. It really helped out Gerrit, and I only got a few weird bruises from it, haha. I avoided looking out the window, because I wasn’t sure what kind of looks I would get from other drivers!

Overall, month #10 was pretty good. Despite the crappy sleep Gerrit and I got, we had so much fun seeing family and friends! This is such a great age, and I love playing and interacting with Gerrit. I love watching him discover new things, and his personality just makes me smile. There is no better feeling than being loved by this little boy!

Here are some more photos from his 10 month photo shoot:

Happy 10 months, sweet boy! We love you so much, Gerrit!

Daily living · Parenting

The Fussy Baby

July 10, 2015 nk3303 Comments

My husband and I definitely struggled in the beginning of parenthood. It was just a really messy equation:

baby born 3 weeks early + postpartum depression + being far away from family = stress

Getting sick of camera flashes! — Not a happy baby!

I felt like there had to be something wrong. I knew it shouldn’t be this hard. No one told me it would be THIS hard. What were we doing wrong? Was it colic? Did Gerrit have acid reflux or an allergy to something I was eating? Why wouldn’t he sleep?!

It wasn’t until a few months (and SO many books) later, that I found our answer: we had a High Need Baby. We were struggling so much with sleep with Gerrit in the first few months, that I was literally buying every sleep book I could find on Amazon. I bought books that suggested cry-it-out, I bought “gentle” sleep books, and then I bought what ended up being my favorite sleep book: The Baby Sleep Book by Dr. Sears. While reading this book, I came across the term High Need Baby. And it sounded so much like Gerrit. I started feeling like maybe it wasn’t me. Maybe I wasn’t the reason why parenting Gerrit was exhausting and difficult.

After reading Dr. Sears’ sleep book, I went ahead and ordered The Fussy Baby Book as well. It was so comforting to read about other people going through the same things we had gone through or were going through. Without meaning to, I feel like friends and family made me feel like Gerrit’s behaviors were my fault. I held him too much. I nursed him to sleep too often. I took naps with him and often would bedshare at night. I didn’t give him a pacifier so he didn’t know how to self-soothe. But maybe it wasn’t me after all! I feel like I was just doing what I needed to do to survive. All the things I did for Gerrit was for me too: I needed rest and so did he. He was very needy and demanding, and that’s just his personality.

So what is a High Need Baby? Here are the 12 features that Dr. Sears highlights. I’ll just touch on the ones that are very apparent in our little guy.

Hyperactive
As Gerrit started becoming more awake and aware of his surroundings, we started to see this feature all the time. He was rarely still. His legs were always kicking, and he just seemed “tense” all the time. When I saw other babies just peacefully observing their environment, I was astounded. My kid was never peaceful like that unless he was passed out cold! Even when I held him, he would arch his back like he was trying to jump down and explore.

Andrew says he gets this from me, haha. I also cannot just sit and relax. I’m constantly needing to do something when I’m “relaxing.” When I lay in bed before sleeping, I do logic puzzles. It’s like I need to tire my brain out or something. And when we watch TV in the evening, I’m also meal-planning for the week or crocheting, or researching something online. Andrew also says I’m always tense. My muscles never seem to relax, even when I’m getting a massage. So I guess even though Gerrit definitely looks like a Kiel, he got his Momma’s crazy energy!

Draining
Oh yes. Definitely this one! I keep telling myself that it will get better as he gets older, but that’s not true at all. As he gets older, the ways he siphons off my energy just changes.

When he was a newborn, he was quite literally always in my arms. He wouldn’t sleep unless I held him, and sometimes it seemed like he nursed around the clock. I felt like I was just stuck on the couch all day long. I rarely cleaned. I was happy if I got some laundry done (although it rarely got folded). I was so so so thankful for all the meals people brought us in the first few weeks, because I had no time or energy to cook. And when those meals stopped coming, dinner was often very quick, often processed food that was thrown together at 10pm!

Now that Gerrit is 8 months old, he is draining in a whole different way! He is obviously awake a lot more than he was as a newborn, and he wants me to play with him nearly all day. I’m so proud of him when he will sit and play by himself for 5 minutes here or 10 minutes there. Usually he is trying to climb me, pull my hair, or give me a dental exam (lately he is fascinated by our mouths and teeth!). He is constantly wanting to explore and go, go, go! He has the army crawl mastered, and he scoots around the house so quickly.

While he still wants to be held all the time, it’s much different. He doesn’t actually want to be held in a cuddly sense. He wants to jump on my lap, bounce around while I sing, or reach up and pull my hair out of the ponytail. Or he wants me to help him walk around the house (my poor back!). When I set him down? Unless something instantly distracts him, he quickly crawls over to my feet or my lap and tries to crawl up on me.

Andrew has given me one of the best compliments when he commented, “I don’t know how you stay that energetic with him all day.” You know, I don’t know how I do it either! I don’t drink coffee anymore for fear that it will make Gerrit sleep even less. And I probably only get 5 hours of interrupted sleep each night. I feel like I’m constantly going, and I am over the moon when Gerrit takes a long (anything over an hour) nap. That’s my only downtime. If you miss my blog posts, try to convince Gerrit to take longer naps! 😉

Feeds Frequently
Eh, yes and no. We really struggled with breastfeeding in the beginning. I had way too much milk, Gerrit struggled to keep up with my fast letdown, and we both were frustrated over all. His feedings were often short and therefore frequent. He comfort nursed to sleep for nearly every nap and bedtime. Because of his frequent feedings, it was impossible to set any type of schedule for this kid. I had to force myself to get over the idea of “feed every 2-3 hours” and just whip out the boob anytime he seemed to want it.

Now? He’s closer to the “every 3 hours” feeding. He nurses before every nap, before bedtime, and during any night wakings. When he gets hungry between naps, I usually have to lay down with him to get him to take a proper feedings. Otherwise he would much rather play. But playing when hungry just makes for a cranky baby!

Demanding
Yes. Gerrit is very demanding! Once he got past the newborn stage, he really didn’t cry much. It was replaced by fussing and whining. Anytime he is not occupied or distracted by something, he is letting you know with his whine. Now that he is mobile, he will follow me around the house, whining until I pick him up! He has now learned the intentional cry too: he will start crying if I am not responding quickly enough to his whining. From Dr. Sears’ site:

These babies convey a sense of urgency in their signals; they do not like waiting, and they do not readily accept alternatives. Woe to the parent who offers baby the rattle when he is expecting a breast. He will let you know quickly and loudly that you’ve misread his cues. The concept of “delayed gratification” is totally foreign to infants, it must be sensitively and gradually taught when the child is developmentally ready to learn it.

It’s easy to feel like Gerrit is manipulating me or controlling me, but I know that he’s just frustrated. He can’t tell me what he wants, and when I offer something he doesn’t want, of course he’s irritated. I would be too! Thankfully, I’m getting better at knowing what he wants, and it’s usually some undivided attention!

Awakens Frequently
If you know me at all, you know that this is Gerrit to a T. We started really struggling with Gerrit’s sleep around the time he turned 3 months old. It was a long process to get him down at night (sometimes an hour long battle), he refused to nap unless I was holding him, and he woke up at night constantly. All the books I bought? They were telling me how much sleep he should be getting a night (11-12 hours… which NEVER happened), and how the things I was doing (nursing him to sleep, rocking him, patting him, etc.) were just sleep props that I was going to have to eliminate if I wanted him to sleep better. Only books promoting attachment parenting encouraged me to sleep with him and to continue nursing him to sleep because it was NATURAL.

Did you know that it’s normal, natural, and healthy for babies to awaken frequently at night? So please stop pestering new parents with the question, “Is he/she sleeping through the night yet?” I felt like Gerrit was abnormal for the way he slept. Even after reading study after study about how he WAS normal, I still struggled with it! Here we are with an 8 month old who still does not sleep through the night. Usually he wakes up 2 or 3 times for a quick feeding before sleeping soundly for another few hours.

Unsatisfied
This was much more the case when Gerrit was a newborn. I could never tell if he was hungry, tired, overstimulated, understimulated, gassy, wet… even when all of his needs were met (or so I thought), he would cry! So what did I do? Usually I kept trying to nurse him. I figured he had to either be tired or hungry, and the boob would help with both of those! But when it clearly wasn’t helping, I usually had to hold him and walk. I’d walk around the room singing, or I’d bounce him while talking about nonsense. I would recite every little nursery rhyme or counting song I could think of. Sometimes I could put him in the Moby wrap while doing these things; other times he struggled to get out of the wrap, so I had to just hold him. Put him in the bouncy seat? Ha, you are kidding right? Once in awhile I could get him to sit in the bouncy seat for 10-15 minutes while I cooked or cleaned something. But that was still with me singing and making frequent eye contact.

Unpredictable
Most definitely. In the beginning, I was obsessed with tracking Gerrit’s input/output down to the minute. He had lost a lot of weight when he was born (normal) but also struggled with jaundice, so the medical staff was pushing me to feed, feed, feed. And with my oversupply and strong letdown? Gerrit was seriously struggling to eat as much as he needed.

Anyway, after he started putting on weight (like crazy!), I started trying to find a pattern in his feedings. I would scour my notes for any rhyme or reason to explain why some days he nursed every 2 hours and others he nursed every 30 minutes. I started also tracking his sleep. I mean, if there was no pattern with his eating, there had to be one with sleep, right? Nope! It was all over the map too! Books assured me that even if there didn’t seem to be a pattern, there probably was some predictability to Gerrit’s days. Trust me, if there was, I would have found it. I started making charts that color-coded different parts of his days since I’m a visual person. Still nothing.

Now at 8 months we are actually getting into a schedule. It’s a loose schedule; it completely depends on Gerrit’s mood and how his sleep has been that day. I would hardly say that Gerrit is predictable now, but I guess it just makes my life a little more exciting, huh? 🙂

Can’t Put Baby Down
I feel like I already touched on this one, but this is very much a feature of Gerrit! He was constantly with either Andrew or me when he was a newborn. It was such a relief when we could get him to go to sleep at night. He was tightly swaddled in his bassinet at the foot of our bed with a fan for white noise. During the day, he was practically an extra growth on my body. I wish he had loved the Moby wrap, because I would have worn him all day!

He still had his moments with this now, usually when he’s very tired, but he’s getting to be much more independent. And when I’m not super frustrated, my heart warms a little bit knowing how much he loves to be near me.

Not a Self-Soother
This was very true in the beginning. We were big followers of Dr. Karp’s soothing techniques. Gerrit needed all of it! The hardest part was the sucking step, because he didn’t take a pacifier. It’s hard to bounce/jiggle a baby while nursing when nursing is difficult!

20150415_151620 — Look who fell asleep on his own!

Gerrit has improved so much since then! He will sometimes go to sleep all on his own, and I’m still always impressed when he can do this. I still nurse him to sleep about 80% of the time, but if he awakens a little when I lay him down, his eyes just flutter and he gets himself comfortable. It’s amazing compared to what we used to deal with!

Separation Sensitive
Oh boy, YES! This one has definitely shown itself in the past couple of months. He definitely struggled for awhile with separation at night after we moved him to his own room (just after he turned 5 months old). We really needed to move him though, because sharing a room with him was becoming very tense! We had to be quiet as mice after he went to sleep. And when we did go to bed? I swear, he sensed my presence! He started sleeping better once he got used to his own bed and own room.

During the day, we still deal with this though. If he’s well-rested and fed, I can leave the room while he plays for short amounts of time. At the end of the day when he’s tired? He pretty much won’t let me out of his sight. Even if Andrew is trying to talk to him or play with him, he is focused on knowing exactly where I am. I’m often stuck holding him at the end of the day just so he isn’t fussy until bedtime.

So there you have it! Gerrit is my High Need Baby. I love him so much, but he is definitely not an easy kid! You might say I’m obsessed with him, the way that I try to figure out a good sleep schedule for him, and the way I am constantly looking for new ways to entertain him or pique his curiosity. But I think that’s just what comes with having a High Need Baby.

Gerrit is my smart, energetic, crazy boy. There are days when I wish I had an “easy baby.” There are nights when I wish he would just sleep straight through the night. But maybe I would be bored with an easy baby. And I absolutely love how calm and content he is when he nurses at 2 in the morning. I have come a long way with him, and I know I will appreciate his unique personality more and more as he gets older. For now I’m just loving my little guy the best way I know how.

Do you have a High Need Baby? You just go ahead and message/call me to vent as much as you want! I only made it through the hard days by reading blogs about fussy babies and messaging other parents who had gone through this. If you are one of those parents, THANK YOU! You truly helped me get though some tough times.