As you will see, I thought I was bad getting this published a year late… and here we are just before Berend’s 3rd birthday with me catching up on all of these old drafts!
Oh Berend, I’m so sorry this is getting published more than a YEAR late… thankfully most of it was already written, because there’s no way I’d remember it all at this point.
Age: 18 months on 15 November 2019 Weight: 24 lbs 11 oz Height: 33.5 inches Teeth: 16 Clothing Size: 18 months and 18-24 months Diaper Size: size 4 and one size in cloth
Milestones: saying more words, knows all common body parts, shakes head no & nods yes (plus says “no” ALL the time), can throw & catch a ball, shows affection & empathy (gives hugs or pats back if he thinks you’re sad), scribbles with crayons & markers, connection to a lovey (Bear)
Berend has started saying a few 2-syllable non-repetitive words (“bubble” vs “Mama”). He’s not putting words together yet, but he definitely gets his points across.
Likes: balls (especially throwing), being outside (playing in the dirt, playing in the snow, getting pushed on his tricycle), helping around the house (unloading the dishwasher, putting dirty clothes away, wiping up spills), baths, nursing
Dislikes: not getting his way, diaper changes, car rides, not being held, having his teeth brushed
Sleep: Berend’s one nap a day ranges from 45 minutes to 2 hours long. It’s not often that it’s a 2 hour nap though. Sometimes, if it’s a short nap, I can get him back to sleep, but if the nap has been over an hour, that probably won’t happen.
In terms of night sleep? More of the same. Berend is generally up every 2 hours or less throughout the night. I bring him to bed with me around 2am most nights. He usually goes to bed around 8:30 and is up for the day by 7:30. I continue to try to catch up on sleep on weekends or mornings Andrew is home.
Eating: Berend continues to nurse around the clock. I feel like even if he is eating well that day, he still wants to nurse all the time! I don’t feel like he drinks much though, so I feel like he nurses when he’s thirsty, bored, or sleepy.
Berend is not a big eater. I mean, if it’s something he likes, he’s more likely to eat a fair amount of it.
Curse of the second child, Berend… Mama was just too busy to blog. I know that from 14-16 months, Dada was gone on his first deployment, and I was definitely feeling overwhelmed. Right after he got home, Gramps & Gram came to visit and we went to Carlsbad Caverns with them. And then we had Gerrit’s 5th birthday, you turned 18 months, and the stress and busy-ness of the holidays began!
In trying to get back into blogging, I pulled up my old blog post drafts and came across this one from early August 2018:
So in the last 5 months, we’ve moved from Texas to Little Rock, had a baby, then moved from Little Rock to New Mexico. All so we could be together when I had Berend. I didn’t want to be in the delivery room without Andrew. I couldn’t imagine him not being there. It was probably the most complicated way to do this whole thing (moving Gerrit and myself to Little Rock with Andrew for just a few months), but I think it was worth it.
Anyways! Berend was born in the middle of May, in the middle of Andrew’s C130 training. Andrew was basically told to take 2 weeks off after the birth and drop back a class. I was hoping he wouldn’t have to do that (even though I wanted him home to help) because it landed us in this situation: him leaving me and our two kids in a new house at a new base for a month of training out of state because he couldn’t get dates changed.
Had he not dropped back a class, we would have had two extra weeks to get settled here before he left. Thankfully, my mom agreed to drive from Arkansas to New Mexico with us, and she stayed for a week after Andrew left to help out.
But now it’s just me, a 3-1/2 year old, and a 2 month old in a house on an unfamiliar base with a LOT of unpacked boxes.
Day 1: I was ambitious and agreed to go to a play date meet-up at a park on base to get out of the house. We arrived late since Berend was napping, but I made sure we got out of the house. I enjoyed chatting with a few other moms, but Gerrit was being shy and didn’t want to play with the other kids. He told me he missed his old friends. Break my heart! 😦 The day was long because Berend refused to nap longer than 15-30 minutes at a time, so I was constantly trying to get him to sleep, get him back to sleep, or keep him relatively happy before I tried again with the naps. When I put Gerrit to bed, he told me he didn’t want to play outside the next day. When I asked why, he said, “So I don’t get dirty, and I won’t need a bath.” I told him I thought he liked baths, and he said, “But I want Dada to give me a bath.” Seriously, this kid is trying to make me cry! And cry I did. It was dark, and I was rubbing his back while he fell asleep, so he didn’t know I was crying. I just felt alone and overwhelmed. And I wondered how in the world I would ever survive an actual deployment.
Day 2: My only goal for today was to get to the commissary. So I had to write up a menu, write my grocery list, and get us out the door. With basically only myself to feed, it was a pretty short list. I feel like the day went better because Berend actually took some good naps! I didn’t feel so defeated at the end of the day, but I was definitely exhausted.
Days 3 & 4: The weekend! Although the weekend is like every other day when you’re alone with your kids. We went on some walks to the splash pad/playground in our neighborhood to get out of the house. Berend is not a big fan of the car seat/stroller right now. I thought he’d be okay with it since he can see me (vs the car seat in the car), but he’s almost always screaming on our walk back to the house. I can’t imagine what the neighbors think of us…
Day 5: Gerrit continues his binge watching of “Transformers: Rescue Bots” on Netflix. Berend thinks he just needs cat naps until early afternoon. I needed two large cups of coffee today. But I remembered to get the garbage out for trash collection! Accidentally left B screaming in his bassinet while I got Gerrit to bed (white noise machines work very well to cover baby screams) and felt like a crappy mom. Berend continued waking frequently until he had a large blow out poopy diaper at 3am… then finally slept 2 hours straight. He and I snuggled together from 6-8am so I could get some more sleep.
Day 6: More cat naps. More “Rescue Bots.” Trying to get a Crock Pot meal on the table tonight.
I’m so glad I didn’t delete this! It was less than 3 years ago, but it seems so long ago. Last month was Month of the Military Child, and this post illustrates how hard this life can be not only for the adults but also for the little ones. I’m so proud of my resilient boys!
One of my new year’s resolutions for 2021 was to get back into blogging. As I popped back on here to catch up on old drafts, I realized so much had changed! Since I was trying to learn all this new stuff, I thought I’d update the look of the blog, and review what I had available. As a bit of a practice run, I wanted to review our past year. Let it be known that I started this post in January and am FINALLY publishing it at the beginning of May…
As most people can probably say: 2020 was unexpected. Ours started out very uneventful. We had a few weekend adventures in January and February, but other than that, things were normal. Andrew went to work, Gerrit went to preschool, and Berend and I stayed home. We had a family weekend in Amarillo at the end of February leading up to Andrew’s 2nd deployment. Right after that, Andrew’s parents came to see him as he got ready to leave. I remember that this is when words like “coronavirus” and “COVID-19” started floating around. As Andrew’s parents finished up their visit here, I recall Andrew’s mom telling me that the first case had been reported in Reno, where they live. I remember Andrew speaking of altering their plans to get to their destination to avoid Italy, which was reporting very high numbers of COVID-19 cases.
I had planned to knock out a bunch of appointments while Andrew’s parents visited: dentist, optometrist, hair salon… I had no idea everything was about to shut down after they left. I felt so lucky and thankful to have caught up on everything! In New Mexico, things shut down pretty hardcore right off the bat. I had entertained ideas of traveling over the Easter weekend, and I remember people thinking things would be “back to normal” by Easter. It’s sadly funny to look back on that mindset. Here’s a birthday gift from a friend: toilet paper!
This was just the first round of “panic buying” that resulted in certain things being sold in limited amounts: toilet paper and other paper products, eggs, meat, bread… I remember making 2-week menus to try to stock up on what I needed and avoid going out with the boys. I had someone in the squadron pick up ground beef for me one week because I hadn’t been able to find any anywhere. Early lockdown activities:
I set up a “Going on a Bear Hunt” activity on our loop for the kids.
Berend & Gerrit bear hunting
My jam-packed refrigerator as I tried spacing out my shopping trips
My 35th birthday goodies
Me and my boys on my birthday
Pretty early on in our lockdown, my friend (and neighbor) Kayla and I agreed to be quarantine buddies. I had a deployed spouse, and she was newly pregnant, so we traded off childcare so she could get to prenatal appointments (she wasn’t allowed to bring her 3 year old because of COVID) and so I could run errands without kids. I remember feeling really paranoid about bringing my boys anywhere at that point. We celebrated Easter with a parade on base (instead of the egg hunt that had been planned) and a small Easter egg hunt I set up for my boys and Kayla’s son, Nehemiah.
This year we had an Easter parade instead of the usual Easter egg hunt
My cute boys in their Easter shirts
Hunting for eggs!
Berend, Nehemiah, & Gerrit
I felt so prepared for this deployment. I knew I’d have preschool to give me a bit of a break during the week. I had set up a biweekly cleaning lady to come help me keep the house looking decent. And I had family coming in May for Berend’s birthday. But then we found ourselves in a pandemic! Gerrit never went back to preschool after his spring break. My cleaning lady continued coming (thank goodness!). But Andrew’s and my parents all canceled plans to visit in May because the base was allowing NO visitors. Between the anxiety of the deployment and the anxiety of COVID-19, I was really stressed out.
As we approached Berend’s 2nd birthday, we realized Andrew wouldn’t be coming home when we thought he would. As COVID-19 cases rapidly increased, the US military stopped all movement. We had no idea when Andrew would be able to come home. I went ahead with a “Two the Moon” birthday party for Berend. I went all out on decorations, but scaled way back on the guest list. I think at this point we weren’t allowed to gather in groups of more than five, so I only invited the two families we are closest to here. I wish I had lots of photos to share, but unfortunately, the memory card that included Berend’s birthday was corrupted. I was so crushed! Here are a few I managed to save:
Unfortunately NONE of the pictures with Berend or his friends were savable. I made a little balloon decoration, got an inexpensive space shower curtain as a backdrop, and used my Cricut to make the letters for the banner and the space confetti on the table. I made cookies ‘n’ cream cupcakes with galaxy sprinkles for dessert. I also set up a quick moon rock hunt (Easter eggs filled with goodies and covered in aluminum foil) in the backyard for the kids. It was very low-key, but we had fun celebrating our new two-year-old!
Andrew finally came home in the middle of June! We were thrilled that he got home quickly with minimal stops… less opportunity for delays from the plane or weather. We all had to quarantine for 2 weeks after he got home, and that was followed by 2 weeks of time off with the family.
We strongly considered driving up to the Midwest in July to see family & friends, but after calling Public Health and weighing the pros and cons, we opted not to travel. Instead we found things to do at home and around the area.
We also made a day trip over to Texas to visit Palo Duro Canyon. It was so hot down in the canyon, so we only got to hike about a mile round trip. Andrew and I could have kept going, but we didn’t want the boys getting too tired and overheating.
As we got to the end of the summer, we had to decide what to do about Gerrit’s kindergarten year. We waited until what felt like the last minute to opt to send Gerrit to the elementary school we’re zoned for and go with the full virtual option for the first half of the schoolyear. I had not heard good things about virtual learning from family and friends, but I just didn’t feel comfortable sending Gerrit to school not knowing a whole lot about COVID-19, not knowing how he’d handle wearing a mask all day, and not knowing how much back and forth there might be with in person schooling.
Getting into the groove of virtual school was a little hard, but we figured it out! Gerrit loves having his own computer, and his favorite thing is live meets with his teacher and classmates. He excels at math, and he does well with reading and writing… he just doesn’t enjoy it much.
Fall was pretty uneventful. We were busy with school, but when Gerrit’s fall break lined up with a long weekend for Andrew, we decided to get out of town. We drove up to Angel Fire, because I had read that we could actually see some fall color up there! We rented a little apartment, enjoyed a few local restaurants, and hiked around the area.
After our amazing weekend in Angel Fire, we were busy preparing for a visit from my parents and Gerrit’s birthday party. I kept the guest list fairly small with just kids from our street… and those were exactly the kids Gerrit wanted there!
Gerrit had such a good time at his party! I feel like with how limited we all were with socializing this year, this was exactly what Gerrit needed and wanted. I’m so thankful Andrew and my parents were here to help set everything up and make the party everything Gerrit dreamed!
Surprisingly, on Gerrit’s actual birthday, he got a snow day! We had similar weather last year, but I couldn’t believe Gerrit got a day off on his birthday.
Despite the snow we got early in the week, the snow was gone and we had a mild Halloween that weekend!
November was pretty quiet for us. We had a very low-key Thanksgiving as well. I made beef tips over noodles instead of a turkey, but I did make an attempt at a Thanksgiving-esque dessert with a pumpkin roll.
After Thanksgiving, we pulled out our Christmas tree to decorate! This was probably my least stressful year of decorating the tree. I didn’t even bother pulling out any ornaments besides the boys’ while they were excited about the tree. Once they had their ornaments up, Andrew and I added our own (letting them help when they wanted to). This year Berend helped Andrew put the angel on top of the tree! And this was the first year I added some decorations to our front porch as well.
Right after putting up the tree and moving into December, Andrew found out that he was going to be leaving on a short-notice deployment. I think any short-notice deployment is probably hard to deal with, but I was really upset about it being over Christmas, our family trip to Missouri, and Gerrit’s winter break. Regardless of how we felt about it, we had to deal with it and plan around it.
This was the first year that we decided to celebrate St. Nicholas Day. I knew people celebrated it back home in Wisconsin when I was growing up, but our family never did. When I actually looked into and read about the holiday, I found that it had origin in Germany and the Netherlands, which happen to be our heritage. So I decided to introduce it this year as a distraction from the deployment. Andrew ended up being home for it (COVID delay), which was fun for all of us!
We tried to enjoy every day we had with Andrew at home! We were actually able to drive him to the squadron to say goodbye for this deployment.
We spent the rest of December trying to do some fun holiday things and make the time pass while Andrew was gone. I feel like things were still pretty locked down that month, but we enjoyed the holiday parade the base put on and the Glitter & Glow Light Show. We also had fun decorating sugar cookies together! I think this was the first year that cookie-decorating was really fun with two kids. The previous year stressed me out! All those sprinkles with an 18-month-old and a 5-year-old… yikes. But surprisingly, deployments and TDYs make me chill out about some things, so maybe I just went into it with a better attitude.
Our Christmas was low-key but normal: we opened presents, hosted Christmas brunch, and relaxed! I tried to keep everything as normal as possible. The boys woke up and went through their stockings, and they were really happy with that! They were in no hurry to open the gifts under the tree. I know we got through a few gifts before I got going with brunch, but I also know it took us ALL DAY to get through the tree gifts (and I promise there weren’t that many!). We had brunch with our friends (and neighbors!): homemade cinnamon rolls, a Christmas egg and bacon wreath, and plenty of mimosas!
After Christmas was over, it was time to plan and pack for our family trip to Missouri to see my parents and sisters and their families. My mom flew into Amarillo, TX for us to pick up for the majority of our road trip, and it was such a great surprise for the boys! Mimi was a huge help with all parts of traveling, and I’m so glad she was able to help us out like that. Our time with my family in Missouri was great as a trip and as a distraction from the deployment! A few pictures from our time together:
All the grandkids on our “Christmas morning”
One of the fun things we got to do this year, unlike previous years, was celebrate the new year together! I asked to do a countdown activity with the kids that I had been wanting to do for years! Ever since we started meeting up with my family after Christmas, we have always been traveling home on New Year’s Day. This year, my mom added a day to the trip and with the way the days fell, we were together for New Year’s Eve 2020! I planned an hour-by-hour activity ending with a little 7pm New Year’s Eve party for the kids:
This was the first year either of my boys actually celebrated the last day of the year (seems pretty fitting that it be 2020 ha), and I think all of the kids had a fun time! We adults didn’t do much to celebrate besides having some champagne at midnight.
It was so nice to be with family to end this crazy year, especially with Andrew being gone. It was a weird year for sure, but I think we had more good memories than bad, and I’m thankful for everything we ended the year with!
On An Even Kiel 