Berend: 3 Months

August 19, 2018 nk330Leave a comment

This month was kind of a blur. Between moving and doing some solo parenting, Berend’s 3rd month was both hectic and very low key.

Age: 3 months on 15 August 2018
Weight: 14 lbs (our best estimate)
Height: 25.5″ (our best estimate)
Teeth: none
Clothing Size: 3-6 months & 6 months
Diaper Size: size 2 in disposable and one size in cloth
Milestones: He has discovered his hands and enjoys sucking on them, sleeping 6 hours straight (once), lots of new vocal sounds (including “mama!”), starting to grasp at toys, sitting supported (good neck control)

Likes: Sucking and mouthing anything he can get his mouth on, nursing to sleep and nursing to wake, watching Gerrit, watching the TV when he can see it, movement (being carried/bounced), his play mat, bath time, sitting supported, standing supported, walking supported

Berend loves watching Gerrit anytime he’s around:

Dislikes: Being tired, not having Mama’s undivided attention, diaper changes at night, not being able to get toys in his mouth, the car seat (including car rides and the stroller), being restricted by a baby carrier, sleeping long stretches

Getting comforted by Mama during our trip west because he hates the car seat

His face pretty much shows how he feels about stroller rides right now too

Sleeping: Berend is still sleeping swaddled in his bassinet for naps and nighttime. We’re nearing the end of his time in the bassinet, because he’s getting so long! We’ll see if we max out the 15 lb weight limit before we move him because of length.

All sleeping now pretty much takes place in our bedroom. Occasionally, he’ll finish a nap on my lap in the living room, but he can’t really fall asleep out there anymore. In the bedroom he gets swaddled and has white noise to help him fall asleep. This month he had some days that he got 15 hours of sleep and other days only 12! Overall he averaged about 14 hours a day.

Sleep honestly wasn’t great this month, besides that one night he had a 6 hour stretch. I think besides that, his longest stretch was only 3 hours. And most of the time it was more like 2 hours or less. Some nights he was easy to get back down to sleep after he nursed, and other times I had to try to get him back to sleep over and over again. The worst nights were during Leap 2. He was SO fussy during the day for those two weeks as well.

He took a LOT of catnaps. I tried putting him down earlier. I tried putting him down later. It was very hit or miss. By the time he turned 3 months, it seemed like an hour was his sweet spot for getting ready for a nap. Even then, sometimes he’d take an hour and a half nap, and other times he’d nap for 10 minutes! As much as I didn’t want to obsess over it… I obsessed over it. I just wanted the kid to nap! Napping made him much happier, and not napping made him very cranky. Evenings were pretty rough…he often wouldn’t nap well in the late afternoon, so evenings were scream fests while I tried to make/eat dinner with Gerrit. It was rough.

Eating: Berend still nurses for a very short amount of time (5 minutes or less) for the most part. He also still nurses every 1.5-2 hours most of the time. He’ll nurse longer when he’s nursing to sleep, so I often go ahead and let him do that. He’s much calmer and gulps less air then too when he’s sleepy. So for now he’s mostly nursing when he’s going down for a nap, going to bed, or during the night. Not ideal, but I’m okay with it.

Mommy Update: This was the month I was dreading! Not because it was the third month, but because Andrew was gone for most of it. Berend slept one 6 hour stretch shortly after he turned 2 months old, but once we moved into our new house (to the day), he started taking short catnaps and only sleeping 1-2 hours stretches at night. I was exhausted! But with Andrew and my mom here, I was able to get a nap most mornings. Once they both left, my exhaustion went to a whole new level. I dreaded nights, because my sleep was very broken. Throw in Gerrit coming in around 4 or 5am after wetting the bed, and then Berend getting up at 6am? I have no idea how much sleep I was actually getting.

Tired Mama = Crabby Mama. I definitely feel bad that I wasn’t at my best for my boys, and some days we were just in survival mode. My goals were to get a shower every other day, get some easy home cooked dinners on the table most days, and keep up with laundry. I pretty much succeeded haha. The rest of the house was a bit neglected.

The postpartum hormonal fun continues. This month is when the dreaded hair loss started. I’m pretty sure it didn’t start last time until Gerrit was 3 or 4 months old. This time it started when Berend was about 2-1/2 months old. Ugh, it grosses me out losing that much hair all the time! I’ve been breaking out a lot too. I feel like it’s been happening since I had Berend, and I just thought it would be going away by now. I feel like I’m 13 again!

With Andrew gone, I definitely had to get out of my comfort zone this month. I ran errands with both boys, including the commissary. This wouldn’t have been a big deal earlier, when Berend just chilled in the Moby wrap. But now he basically tries to escape the baby carrier, pushing himself sideways and leaning backwards the whole time. He’s ridiculous haha.

So I tried wearing him with the ring sling. And I pulled out the Ergo to see how he did with that. Still playing around with both of those, but I’m hoping to get the ring sling to work out since it’s the easiest to get on and off!

We also went out to some play dates on base. I wanted to get us out of the house, I wanted Gerrit to play with some kids his age, and I wanted to meet some moms. It’s a bit stressful getting two kids out of the house by myself, but it was worth it. Even though I’m an introvert and I enjoy alone time, it was really hard being home alone with two kids and no adult interaction for days at a time.

Memorable Events: Moving to New Mexico

Well, the drive from Arkansas to New Mexico was not very fun. The only time Berend wasn’t crying/screaming was when he was asleep. So when he was awake, we basically stopped every 10 minutes so I could calm him down. He would get to the point of crying where he’d sound like he stopped breathing — it freaked me out!

But we did make it to New Mexico. We spent a couple of days in TLF, then moved into our house on base. I’m excited to be staying in one place for a few years! This will be the house where Berend makes his first memories.

After we moved in, nothing too exciting happened though. We had unpacking and exploring to do. Minus two weeks, my mom was here to help out, which was SO appreciated with Andrew being gone.

Having Mimi around is the best! The extra pair of hands was really helpful, but I didn’t realize how much I missed having another adult to talk to. Plus my mom helps calm me down a bit. We all know I can be a bit high strung…

So there’s Berend’s 3rd month! Here’s his August photo:

As usual, Gerrit wanted to be involved too, and I never say no to a brother photo!

Berend, we adore your big happy smile! No matter how many 20 minute naps you take, your smile is irresistible, and I can’t help but smile back. I can already see that you are determined and feisty, and we can’t wait to see what new things you learn next month! We love you, little bear.

Baby Update · Daily living · Holiday · Parenting

Berend: 2 Months

July 19, 2018August 18, 2018 nk3304 Comments

I know I’m one of those people who doesn’t think the first month goes by very quickly with a new baby, but the second month does. I can’t believe our Little B is 2 months old already!

Age: 2 months on 15 July 2018
Weight: about 12.5 lbs (12 lbs 14 oz on 25 July)
Height: about 24″ long (24.21″ long on 25 July)
Teeth: none
Clothing Size: 3-6 months & 6 months
Diaper Size: close to size 2 in disposable and newborn in cloth
Milestones: He can roll from tummy to back, his head control has improved a lot, he give big open mouth smiles, and he “talks” to us!

Likes: Nursing, pooping, staring out windows and at high contrast patterns, smiling at his family, standing on our laps, baths

Dislikes: Waking up, having gas, being overtired, not being fed immediately, his car seat

Sleeping: Berend is still sleeping swaddled in a bassinet in our room (or in the living room during the day). He usually takes a couple of good naps (about 2 hours) and several catnaps during the day. At night, bedtime is usually 10pm at the latest and sometimes as early as 8:30. He is still up every 2-3 hours until around 5am. That’s when he starts working on gas/poop and is too restless to sleep. I usually lay him on the bed to bicycle his legs or jiggle him back to sleep in between toots. Once he gets all of that out of his system, he usually goes back to sleep for a couple of hours. In a 24 hour period, he’s averaging about 16 hours of sleep a day.

Eating: Berend seems to be eating well based on weight gain. He normally nurses a very short amount of time (5 minutes or less) during the day. I wish he would nurse for longer since he still is eating every 1.5-2 hours unless he’s napping. At night he tends to nurse for longer because he’s calmer and sleepy. He’s been cluster feeding a bit in the evenings, although not to the extent that Gerrit did!

Mommy Update: I’m doing much better this month! But I can definitely feel this sense of hopelessness when I first wake up in the morning after a rough night. Just goes to show how much sleep deprivation can affect you. Normally I feel like myself again though. I feel much calmer and more patient, which definitely helps me get through my days. Andrew has commented more than once that I seem much happier with Berend at this stage of infancy than I did when Gerrit was this age, so I think I’m bouncing back more quickly emotionally this time. I believe a good part of this comes from knowing how quickly it goes by this time around too.

One thing I feel like I should mention since people probably think it’s a bit taboo to talk about: gender disappointment. I wouldn’t even say disappointment in my case, I guess. I had a gut feeling that Berend was a boy throughout my pregnancy, but a big part of me hoped I was having a girl, knowing this was our last baby. While I’m thrilled to have another little boy, I did go through what I would consider a “mourning” period for the daughter I’ll never have. I had and still have a great relationship with my own mom, and I really wanted to experience that with a daughter of my own. But Andrew pointed out that I could still have a close relationship with my sons as well, and that’s so true. Once I came to terms with that, combined with my depression and anxiety symptoms decreasing, I started feeling more connected to Berend. I’m excited to see what kind of kid Berend becomes and what things we’ll bond over.

This month I also got a little braver. We went out to the 4th of July festival on base as a family, despite me having anxiety about Berend being fussy. I also went out to lunch with a friend with the boys (without Andrew), followed by a trip to Walmart by myself with the boys. Berend did better than I thought he would for all of those outings, minus the car rides. He is not a fan of the car seat!

I lost a few more pounds, so I’m just a little under my pre-pregnancy weight. I’m hoping to stay at this weight until I decide to start working on losing weight again later this year. I definitely haven’t been eating great, resorting to quick meals most of the time. I know I’ll feel better once I start cooking healthier meals again.

Memorable Events: Berend’s 2nd month was pretty low-key. It was very hot, so he and I really didn’t get outside very much. It was way too hot and humid for him to tolerate being in the Moby wrap. He did spend some time out on the blanket a few days though!

Probably not super exciting for Berend, but he started wearing cloth diapers every day this month! I had a hard time getting into it at first, because he was so small, and I felt like I didn’t know what I was doing. But as I started feeling less overwhelmed, I decided to get back into using cloth during the day.

Berend celebrated his first Father’s Day with Andrew! He didn’t give Dada anything this year (besides his presence haha) but Gerrit made him a cute card.

Another first holiday for Berend was 4th of July! We didn’t do anything on the 4th because it was very hot, and we weren’t going to stay out late enough for fireworks anyway. But I still took the opportunity to dress my boys in coordinating outfits!

Gerrit wasn’t ready, but Berend is smiling!

He also went to his first festival: Liberty Fest, the 4th of July event Little Rock AFB put on the weekend after Independence Day. He slept through the entire thing, but Gerrit had a lot of fun!

And Berend’s July photo of the month:

And a cute brother picture, because Gerrit insisted:

We love seeing Berend being more aware, especially when he gives us those big open-mouth smiles! We can’t wait to see his personality continue to develop next month. We love you, little bear!

Daily living

Cloth Diapering a Newborn

July 13, 2018 nk3301 Comment

When I was pregnant with Gerrit, I was interested in using cloth diapers. After doing some research, I felt pretty overwhelmed. I registered for a couple of different kinds and received them as gifts. But then when Gerrit was born, I was overwhelmed by so much that I decided to postpone using cloth diapers. It wasn’t until after he turned one that I decided to give cloth diapers a try. I ended up liking it, and I used cloth on Gerrit until he potty trained around his 3rd birthday.

When I got pregnant with Berend, I decided I wanted to try using cloth diapers right away this time. I did a lot of research to try to figure out what would be the cheapest way to diaper him, since I already had a solid stash of one size pocket diapers that I could use once he was big enough. I found out that using flats and covers was the way to go if I wanted to spend as little money as possible. So I bought 6 newborn covers and 6 one size covers as well as some flour sack towels, which were cheaper than flat diapers. By the time we were ready to move to Arkansas, I was set with my newborn diaper stash.

I didn’t plan to put cloth on Berend right away in the hospital, so we started out with disposables there. And when we came home, I kept using disposables. I was honestly scared to try the cloth on him despite how much I had been looking forward to it! Finally I gave it a try. It was a little challenging! Even the newborn diapers seemed so big on his tiny body and skinny legs.

I was also dealing with some postpartum depression & anxiety again, and for whatever reason, the thought of using cloth diapers just stressed me out so much. So after a few days of trying the cloth diapers, I told Andrew I was just going to use disposables for awhile. And by the way, Andrew has been 100% on board with using cloth diapers!

A couple of weeks later, when I was starting to feel better, I decided to give the cloth diapers another try. By then Berend was about a month old and had filled out quite a bit! I think the combination of him being bigger and me having had practice already from when he was smaller made me feel more confident in getting a good fit on him. From then we pretty much exclusively used cloth diapers on him during the daytime hours. The only reason I chose to keep using disposables at night is because of the lack of light (I try to keep the room as dark as possible when Berend wakes at night) and my sheer exhaustion: I wasn’t sure I’d be awake enough to get a cloth diaper on very well!

So how is it cloth diapering a newborn? Not so bad! The hardest part was learning how to fold the flour sack towels and get them securely on a wiggly baby. I already had a good wash routine, so that part wasn’t difficult. The fold we ended up liking the best was the mini kite fold:

At almost 2 months old, it is still a good fit for Berend, and I like the coverage it provides. Here he is with a cover over the towel:

That is my favorite cover! I loved the pattern so much that I ordered it in one size pocket diaper too. And don’t mind Berend’s face… he was not happy about having an outfit change haha.

Interested in using cloth diapers on your newborn? I would definitely recommend going the route we chose: covers and flats. It was very inexpensive, and I honestly bought more than I needed. The 6 newborn covers I got were Rumparooz brand, and those 6 covers were really all I needed. You can reuse the covers a few times as long as they don’t get poop on them, so it’s rare that I go through all the covers in 2 days, which is how often I wash diapers. I also have 6 one size covers of assorted brands that I’ve just started using as Berend has gotten bigger. I bought 20 flour sack towels (I already had some from cloth diapering Gerrit) and a pack of 3 Snappis (for securing the diapers). I wash every other day to prevent the diapers from sitting for too long (ew) and to make sure I have enough clean ones folded and ready to go. The only thing that I don’t have enough of is cloth wipes. I underestimated how many I would need compared to an older baby!

So for those who want to know why I choose to cloth diaper? My big one is to cut down on waste. I truly hate seeing all the diapers that go in the trash, especially in these early months when you’re changing diapers ALL the time. I also hate buying all those disposable diapers. They aren’t cheap! I’d much rather do a few extra loads of laundry each week and fold diapers before I go to bed at night. Granted I am one of those people that enjoys folding laundry… Another big reason I like using cloth? No poopy diaper blowouts! I am super impressed with how well the cloth diapers have contained huge pooplosions. We haven’t had a single poop leak with cloth, but we have had leaks (the big up-the-back kind) with disposables. And the most important reason to use cloth diapers? They’re so cute! I love all the prints to choose from, and they look adorable on little baby bums.