Knowledge is Power!

January 12, 2015 nk3302 Comments

During my pregnancy, I really only read books about pregnancy. I was not worried about taking care of a newborn (what was I thinking?!), but right at the end of the pregnancy, I ordered a couple of books about newborn care. For Andrew, since he was concerned about it. Well, when we got home from the hospital with Gerrit, I had a million questions about every topic possible! I was very unsure of myself and had no idea what was “normal” or how to do things the “right” way. I ended up poring through the books I had gotten for my husband anytime I had my hands free! Both books that I got ended up being very helpful, and I’m so glad I got them.

1. Heading Home with Your Newborn

This one was probably the one I went to with questions and concerns the most in that first month. It’s written by two pediatricians who are also parents, and this one just seemed to reassure me more for some reason. I think part of it is just because it’s more conversational than the other book I got. It really covers all of the basics in a way that is concise, but also extensive enough to alleviate all your worries.

2. What to Expect the First Year

I like this one because it covers everything regarding the newborn phase, but it also goes month by month through the first 12 months. I also like that there are questions by parents throughout the book, because I often have the same questions! This one really covers everything you might have concerns about, but I feel like it reads a little more “seriously” if that’s a good way to put it. I always have Gerrit’s current month bookmarked so that I can look to see how much he should be sleeping, how often he should be eating, and milestones he may be hitting.

Once we got the hang of caring for a newborn (for the most part), then we started thinking about parenting philosophies and schedules for babies. I didn’t really buy any books about this while I was pregnant, because I really wasn’t sure what kind of parent I would want to be! And I’m glad I didn’t, because I’ve surprised myself with my approach to parenthood. No matter what kind of parent you want to be, I think the following two books are very good:

3. The Happiest Baby on the Block

I started reading this before I really started implementing the techniques that are discussed. I’m reading and re-reading parts of it again now (Gerrit is 10 weeks old), but I wish I had picked it back up several weeks ago! But honestly, when Gerrit was being particularly fussy, I didn’t have much time for reading. This book is helpful for calming any baby, but especially good for a baby suffering from colic. Gerrit seems to display symptoms of mild colic, so the techniques described by Dr. Karp work well for us.

4. The Wonder Weeks

This is another book that any parent can use and find helpful. Physical growth spurts are frequently discussed by doctors, parents, and websites, but cognitive growth spurts really aren’t. This book describes these mental “leaps” in detail, and it also offers ways to help your baby through them. It includes a chart to visually show when and how often you can expect the fussy, clingy days and weeks to happen during a child’s first 2 years. These leaps are based on your baby’s due date vs his/her birthday, so I’ve had to keep that in mind for Gerrit, who was born nearly 3 weeks early. It still is helpful to have a rough idea of when to expect his “stormy” weeks and see the checklist with new skills to look for.

These are just a few books that I read. I know people say that you should rely on your mommy instincts when dealing with your child, and I do. These instincts are what I follow when I look for books to help me. For instance, I skipped buying On Becoming Babywise, which encourages a parent-led schedule, because I lean more toward a baby-led schedule. Instead I found books that promote a combination schedule where I can follow Gerrit’s lead a bit more. Unfortunately, I didn’t think I would have enough time to get these books in the mail before we travel back to the States, so I’ll give opinions on those when we get to my sister’s house. 🙂

Daily living

Parenthood: The Reality

January 9, 2015 nk3305 Comments

It’s true: Parenthood changes you.

Anyone that knows me knows that I am a pretty black-and-white person. I like schedules and routines. I don’t like change. And I really don’t like unpredictability. So it really surprised me when I found myself becoming a mom who embraced aspects of attachment parenting, on-demand breastfeeding, and a baby-led schedule.

I used to think that attachment parenting was a bit much. And I don’t follow every part of the parenting philosophy, but I do agree with some key components of it. First of all, we tried to promote attachment immediately after birth. We did skin-to-skin for at least an hour after Gerrit was born. Breastfeeding was done skin-to-skin while we were in the hospital too. Secondly, I completely agree with responding immediately to my baby’s cries. Most experts agree that you shouldn’t let a newborn cry it out anyway, but I don’t plan to let Gerrit cry extensively past the newborn stage either. I feel pretty strongly that crying is a baby’s way of communicating, and it shouldn’t be ignored. Hearing Gerrit crying without being tended to breaks my heart. Third, we keep Gerrit near us when he’s sleeping. We don’t keep him in bed with us, but we do have him in a bassinet in our bedroom.

It was hard in the beginning: I woke up to EVERY little sound Gerrit made! But now I sleep through his little grunts and groans… but immediately wake up when he really starts to stir. Andrew wants to move Gerrit into his own room after our move (he’ll be between 4-5 months then), so we’ll see if I can handle that! I also keep Gerrit in the living room when he naps during the day or I hold him while he naps. There are plenty of people who would tell me I’m spoiling him, but I have read so many things discussing the “4th trimester” that babies have and how much they need and thrive on human contact during that time. So I’m never far away from him!

I also breastfeed on demand. I’ve heard of other people putting their babies on feeding schedules, but it just doesn’t seem natural to me. I know… me… who LOVES schedules! I don’t know if I would have felt so strongly about feeding on demand had we not needed to push feedings in the early days, but it kind of instilled this need to feed.

I was having to wake Gerrit for feedings regularly, but it paid off! He was above his birth weight at his 2 week check-up and up over another 2 lbs at 1 month. I wasn’t worried about weight gain anymore! But then I feel like we moved into some serious growth spurts, and there was no way to follow a schedule. I did note when Gerrit eats and for how long, mostly to help me keep track of which breast to feed on. I was feeding off of one breast at a time to deal with my overproduction, but it seems like my supply may have finally (at 9 weeks) regulated. Gerrit still is completely satisfied off of one breast though. Breastfeeding on demand means Gerrit and I are essentially attached at the hip all day and night. I’m never away from him for more than 2 hours, and sometimes that ends up being too long for him! But breastfeeding on demand means Gerrit gets exactly how much milk that he needs and that he is regulating my supply.

I think the attachment parenting and breastfeeding on demand pretty much means that we are on a baby-led schedule! I don’t enforce a feeding schedule or a sleeping schedule. I wanted to see if Gerrit would develop his own schedule, and he pretty much has when he’s not in the middle of a growth spurt. I don’t see any reason to try to mess with what Gerrit’s body wants to do. It would probably be different if I had to go back to work or something, but being at home means my schedule can stay really flexible. That being said, I would like to try to get a loose schedule established once we get back to the States. By then, he will be 3 months old, and I’m curious to see how he will respond to a little more structure.

With all that being said, I question my decisions once in awhile. And I’m sure I’ll tweak my parenting approach once in awhile, especially if it seems like Gerrit needs a change. For right now, this is what is working for us!

Holiday

Happy New Year!

January 3, 2015 nk3306 Comments

Ringing in a new year is pretty tame once you have a baby! We didn’t make plans for New Year’s Eve 2014, but Andrew did pick up a bottle of champagne to open at midnight. Gerrit did not stay awake to see the start of 2015:

I joined Andrew for a glass of champagne at midnight while we watched the fireworks show in London:

One glass of champagne, and my cheeks were rosy and I was feeling it! I went to bed shortly after that and told Andrew he had to finish the bottle by himself. 🙂

Part of me misses having a big New Year celebration, but we haven’t done anything big since being in England. I think we’re usually tired of socializing after various Christmas parties and dinners. Someday we’ll go out and have fun on the last day of the year again!

Here’s Gerrit looking handsome on the first day of the new year:

Happy 2015 from the Kiel family!