I Am Not a Baby Person

March 11, 2015 nk3308 Comments

Yep, it’s true. I really am not a baby person.

Yes, I think they’re cute. And I love buying itty bitty clothes for them. I’ll even hold them and try to coax out a smile. But as soon as they start to squirm and fuss, I get a little panicked and start looking for Baby’s mama. And you will not find me volunteering to change a diaper!

But wait. I have a baby. How can I not be a baby person?! Actually, having a baby was my biggest fear about having a baby. If I could have birthed a 1-year-old, I would have. When I worked at the childcare center on base, I loved working with the pre-toddlers (12-24 month old kids). I occasionally would cover in an infant room, and while I didn’t hate it, I definitely was out of my comfort zone. Especially when it came to handling those little 6-week-old babies. I didn’t feel comfortable giving bottles, burping, rocking them to sleep… So when someone asked me, “Are you ready to have that baby?” I would honestly say, “Nope! He or she can stay in there til the due date!”

So, of course, our baby chose to come 3 weeks early. When I realized that my water had broken, panic ran through me. Not because I was afraid to give birth (I mean, yeah, I was, of course), but because I did not feel ready to actually have a baby in my life! But I suppose I never would have felt ready.

Look at that little guy! I felt so unprepared to care for him. Especially when it came to feeding. I think a lot of women struggle with breastfeeding in the beginning, even more so when they have to deal with something like a poor latch or a sleepy preemie. But we just got through a day at a time, and I guess somewhere along the way, I started feeling a little more confident.

But just a couple of days ago, I felt something that I hadn’t felt before. I have loved Gerrit from the moment he entered our lives, but until the other day, I hadn’t felt that powerful love moms talk about. The love I would describe as “fierce.” I was just watching Gerrit sleep, and I felt this wave of emotion that was love, tenderness, protectiveness… just an overwhelming feeling that I had never felt before. Is it a “mom” feeling or do dads feel it too? I don’t know, but it was amazing.

Here’s my little guy now:

I cannot imagine a single day without him, and I love how he makes me feel. The cuddling and snuggles are wonderful, and I just love being this little guy’s mommy! Gerrit, you have turned me into a baby person after all.

Recipes

Loaded Baked Potato & Chicken Casserole

March 9, 2015 nk330Leave a comment

Although we are staying in TLF (temporary living facility) right now, it has not been bad at all! We’ve had a break from living out of suitcases; I couldn’t wait to unpack our things! We also have a kitchen, so I sent Andrew to Wal-Mart with a grocery list so we could have a break from frozen pizza and spaghetti. We have some pots and pans in the kitchen but not much for baking, so I had to find recipes that didn’t require a 9×13 (because most of them do). I also wanted to use some really quick and easy recipes, since Gerrit can be unpredictable in the evenings. Did I mention that I packed my recipe binder? 🙂 I used it once or twice in TLF in England, and it’s getting more use here in North Carolina.

Anyway, this was one of those evenings when Gerrit was being unpredictable! He had take 45 minute naps all day, so I wanted him to take one more catnap before bedtime. Andrew wasn’t having much luck with that last nap, so I sent him to start cutting up potatoes while I tried to get Gerrit to sleep. By the time our little guy finally conked out, Andrew was pretty involved in dinner preparation, so he said he’d just finish it. So I got a break!

Loaded Baked Potato & Chicken Casserole

Ingredients :
3 – 4 medium russet potatoes, scrubbed and diced (about 1.5 lbs. or 4 1/2 cups)
1 lb. boneless, skinless chicken breasts, diced
6 slices bacon, cooked crisp, cooled and crumbled
1 1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
4 green onions, sliced
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/2 cup heavy cream
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into small pieces

Instructions :
Heat oven to 350 degrees F. Lightly grease a 9″ x 9″ baking pan or casserole dish.
Spread half of the diced potatoes in bottom of pan. Place the diced chicken breasts evenly on top. Season chicken with 1/4 teaspoon each salt and pepper. Sprinkle with half the bacon crumbles, 1/2 cup of the cheese, and half the green onions.
Spread the remaining diced potatoes on top, followed by the remaining bacon, another 1/2 cup cheese, remaining green onions and another 1/4 teaspoon each salt and pepper. Pour heavy cream over top of casserole and then dot with the butter. Cover with aluminum foil and bake in the preheated oven for 1 hour. Uncover and bake another 30 minutes. In the last few minutes of baking, sprinkle with the remaining 1/2 cup cheddar cheese and bake until melted. Chop up some extra green onion to sprinkle on top before serving.

I found this recipe after I had Gerrit. I was looking for something that would be filling and wouldn’t be too tedious to make. I can’t remember if I found it via Pinterest or a Google search, but here’s the blog that I got it from. Andrew gets tired of casseroles, but even he liked this one!

Daily living

Sleepless in… Seymour Johnson

March 9, 2015March 9, 2015 nk3306 Comments

Okay, I know I’m letting myself get too excited about this already, but Gerrit has started PUTTING HIMSELF TO SLEEP AT NIGHT. Yes!

I had been seriously struggling with his poor sleeping both at nighttime and during daytime naps. I mean, I dreaded putting him down for a nap, and my anxiety would rise as evening approached. Some nights I would only get 20-30 minutes of “me” time from the time that I put Gerrit to bed until I finally went to bed myself. It was so frustrating. Andrew would try to help, but he would get fed up with the fruitless process of rocking/patting Gerrit to sleep only to have his eyes pop back open as soon as you put him down in the Pack ‘n Play. Or Gerrit would start trying to suck his arm, and Andrew would come back out with, “He wants the boob.” So it was mostly me dealing with our Sleepless in Seymour Johnson baby. And as soon as I went to bed? Gerrit would wake up, and I would be so tired from trying to get him to sleep for the past 3+ hours that I would just bring him to bed with me. Same with naps: I would often lay down with Gerrit for his naps just so the kid would sleep longer than 20 minutes. I had NO LIFE.

Then the night before the dreaded Daylight Savings Time began, we had a change. We had had dinner with friends of ours who are also living in TLF on the base (the same ones we had had over the evening my water broke!), so Gerrit was going to sleep later than usual. I was afraid we were in for a rough night. I did my normal bedtime routine: bath, lotion, hang out with Daddy, put in sleep sack, lights out, nurse/lullaby. And when I put him down, those eyes opened just like they always do. I patted him for a few seconds, then just lay down on the bed, dreading how long this was going to take. He did his usual things: raising his legs in the air and thumping them down, making little grunts and peeps, and looking around. But then, instead of escalating, he started calming down. And then he stopped moving. I lifted up my head and looked over at him. Was he asleep?! Seriously?

I walked out to the living room and just looked at Andrew.

“What?” he asked.

“I think he just put himself to sleep,” I whispered. And then I told him what had happened.

About half an hour later, we heard him stirring. I groaned.

“Will you please try to pat him back to sleep?” I asked Andrew.

Half an hour later, he came back out. He had a funny look on his face, so I was sure he was going to tell me that I had to go in and nurse him back to sleep.

“What?” I asked. “Is he asleep?”

“Yeah,” Andrew replied. “I never touched him. I just lay down on the bed and watched him that whole time, and he went back to sleep on his own.”

We just looked at each other. And then Andrew asked the question that I had also been thinking: “How long has he been able to do this?” We worried that we had been actually interrupting him while he had been trying to put himself back to sleep for days… weeks maybe! I had read about this in one of the many books I had read, but I didn’t think the things Gerrit had been doing were actually his attempts to self-soothe himself. Funny enough, I had JUST read a blog that very day that had the leg-thumping thing listed as a self-soothing technique.

Gerrit was still asleep when I went to bed later that night. He did wake up about 3 hours after I had originally put him to sleep, so I fed him and put him back in his bed. He woke up so I let him try to self-soothe. Well, I let it go for about half an hour: him talking to himself, thumping his legs around, sucking on his tongue. But then it started to escalate, so I brought him to bed with me again. But it was definitely progress!

So here we are, the next night. And things are going well again. I’m trying not to get TOO excited, but at least now I know Gerrit CAN put himself to sleep. We may not be so sleepless in the near future!