We survived the first month with two kids! I said it last time, and I’ll say it again: that first month is so long in some ways. I struggled with postpartum depression and anxiety again, and that just makes the days drag. Thankfully, Andrew had two weeks off of work, and my mom was here to help. I don’t know how I would have parented a 3-year-old and a newborn without them.
Age: 1 month on 15 June 2018
Weight: 10 lbs 12 oz
Height: 22.5″
Teeth: none
Clothing Size: 0-3 month and some 3 month
Diaper Size: size 1 in disposable and newborn cloth diapers
Milestones: He can roll from his back to his side, and he can hold his head up during tummy time for a few seconds.
Likes: sleeping, nursing, watching Gerrit, being bounced on the birthing ball, baths (usually)
Dislikes: being overtired, gas, pooping, burping, the car seat (unless he’s asleep), the Moby wrap (unless he’s asleep)
Sleeping: Berend slept through most of his first month! He has done pretty well with sleeping swaddled in the bassinet for naps and at night, but he wakes to eat pretty regularly day and night (every 1.5-2 hours usually). I think the longest stretch of sleep we’ve ever gotten is 3 hours, and it’s definitely not a regular thing.
Berend is a very noisy sleeper. He grunts and squeaks and groans while he tries to poop or pass gas and sometimes even cries out in his sleep. Even after getting a white noise machine to help cover some of his sounds, it’s next to impossible to sleep through them. I have a hard time knowing if he’s waking up or just making noises in his sleep. My mom even said that he’s the noisiest baby she’s ever known!
Even though Berend doesn’t sleep long stretches yet, he does sleep quite a bit. He usually takes 1-2 hour naps throughout the day in the bassinet, which allows me to do things with Gerrit and get things done around the house (like cook dinner!). He also goes back down pretty quickly and easily at night after feedings. Sometimes it’s hard to get him to bed at night, and he does still have a late bedtime (between 10 and 11 usually), but I really can’t complain too much about his sleep so far.
Eating: Berend had no trouble latching in the hospital and stayed attached to my boob for a lot of his stay in the hospital. He continued to nurse well at home, although I had to wake him to eat every 2 hours for that first week. We only really struggled when my milk came in: I got very engorged and he struggled to latch, especially on the left side. Sometimes I had to skip the left side when trying to nurse and just nurse off the right side. Then I’d pump off an ounce or so from the left side and use cold washcloths to try to reduce the swelling. Thankfully my milk regulated within a week, so we went back to nursing one breast per feeding. I’ve done some very minor block feeding: if Berend isn’t taking a full feed, I stay on one breast for an hour before switching.
By the end of the first month, Berend was nursing well (and gaining well… 4 lbs in one month!), and I wasn’t having to pump at all. He has not done any major cluster feeding at all. It seems like when he goes through growth spurts, he just lengthens his nursing sessions instead of increasing how often he wants to nurse. I’m hoping that continues, because I remember feeling like I was stuck on the couch for hours when Gerrit went through growth spurts!
Mommy Update: I had a hard time in the first few weeks postpartum again. The first few days home from the hospital, I would say it was more of the “baby blues”: I would get emotional over little things. I went to get Gerrit’s pajamas and nighttime diaper ready while he was in the bath, and I started crying comparing the difference between his size 5 diaper and Berend’s newborn diaper. I got very emotional about missing out on an event at the children’s museum that we were going to go to as a family too.
But when the anxiety started coming on heavy, I knew I was moving into PPD/PPA territory again. I was having a hard time sleeping, I wasn’t eating much, and I felt intense anxiety all day. My hands and feet felt tingly all day long from anxiety, and I felt very disconnected from everything. I was irritable with Gerrit, everything seemed overwhelming, and I just wanted to run away and cry. When I woke up, I was almost shaking with anxiety about getting through the day. I felt anxious when I went to bed, worrying about how soon it would be before I had to get up with Berend. I was exhausted but could hardly sleep. The hardest thing was that I felt anxiety with Berend in the room with me, but I felt worse anxiety when I left him in the living room with Andrew or my mom to try to get uninterrupted sleep. I would just lay there, feeling my hands and feet tingle and my heart racing. It was pretty miserable.
I made an appointment with my PCM only a week after I had Berend. I knew I wasn’t going to feel any better if I couldn’t even calm down enough to sleep. We started increasing my medication, but I really didn’t feel a difference. I wanted to just go back to my pre-pregnancy dosage again. Once I was at my regular dose for a couple of weeks, the physical symptoms of anxiety started to subside. I was finally able to sleep! I started to feel like I could interact with Gerrit again. I felt affectionate toward Berend instead of just going through the motions of caring for him. I felt like myself again.
Physically, my body recovered quickly from this pregnancy. I was at my pre-pregnancy weight and back in non-maternity clothes the day Berend turned 2 weeks old. I was surprised by how much thinner my legs looked after I got home from the hospital! I didn’t feel like I had gotten that much bigger during pregnancy, but once the weight started coming off, I noticed my skin felt loose all over. Besides the cramping that came with the first couple of days postpartum, I really had no pain. I was able to just take Ibuprofen occasionally and didn’t even fill my prescription for stronger pain killers. Andrew even commented that it’s interesting how well my body handles recovering from pregnancy whereas my brain really struggles.
Memorable Events: Despite it being a difficult month, I made sure to take quite a few photos to remember our little guy as a newborn. I remembered how quickly Gerrit had grown and changed as a baby, and I knew Berend would change fast too.
Our hospital stay was brief, but it was way more relaxed than when we were in the hospital with Gerrit! We weren’t so anxious this time around and definitely just enjoyed our snuggles with our newest little boy. Andrew made sure to get in some skin-to-skin time with Berend as well as plenty of extra cuddles.
We came home to a super cute homemade sign from my mom and Gerrit:
Gerrit gave Berend a stuffed giraffe as a welcome present:
Gerrit and Berend in unintentional matching crab pajamas:
I’m so glad my mom got a full month with Berend! She was so helpful to all of us, and I know she loved all the newborn snuggles.
Berend’s first real bath:
Berend’s first cloth diaper (probably not put on very well haha):
Berend got to meet his Papa as well! My dad drove down to visit for a weekend, and Gerrit LOVED having him here!
It was quite a month! Highs and lows, lots of diapers, nursing around the clock, and adjusting to being a family of four. We’ve definitely had some growing pains, but we’re settling into our new normal.
A couple more from our 1 month photo shoot:
Berend, we are so happy you are a part of our family! We’re excited to watch your personality develop and to see you learn & grow. I know Gerrit can’t wait until you two can play together. We love you, little bear!
On An Even Kiel 