The Boobie Connection

Mr. G has turned 11 months old. 11 months!! When did this happen??

So first, I thought back to like 6 months ago. When I was anxious for Gerrit to get bigger, grow older, and be less of a helpless baby. And now I’m desperately clinging to this age. The closer we get to 1 year old, the closer we get to me getting a job and putting G in daycare. Nooooo! I’m not ready! I love this age: Gerrit is mobile (this is both good and bad haha), he has SO much personality, and he seems to be learning new things every day.

Six months ago, breastfeeding was somewhat stressful. It didn’t compare to the stress I felt when he was a newborn, but I still fretted over his eating habits. I felt like he didn’t nurse well during the day. He was on and off the breast, only nursing for 30 seconds or a minute at a time. It drove me nuts! He would finally take a proper feeding right before naps (which were also tough!). Then I worried that I was creating bad habits by letting him nurse to sleep. Ugh, I just didn’t know what to do!

Things slowly improved. Or I just accepted what we were working with. I accepted that Gerrit was going to nurse to sleep. I keep reading that it’s completely normal for kids to breastfeed to sleep, so I’ve just decided that I’m okay with it. Just recently, Gerrit has become actually interested in breastfeeding during the day! I have no idea why, but in the past couple of months or so, all I have to do is say, “Do you want your milk?” and I’m greeted with a big smile as he makes his way over to me. Then he launches himself at my chest so he can nurse. This is what I always wanted! I just didn’t expect it to happen at 9 months when I half expected G to start decreasing nursing sessions.

Breastfeeding has become one of my favorite things to do with Gerrit. Where it used to be a chore, it’s now a way for both of us to just sit and relax for a few minutes. I feel like we finally have that connection that I craved. When he was younger, I felt like Gerrit wouldn’t care if I nursed him or gave him a bottle. Now I feel like he needs the boobie connection as much as or more than he needs the actual milk. It’s an amazing feeling to be able to give so much to your child through your own body: nourishment, comfort, and a home base to come to anytime.

Gerrit is not a snuggly baby. The only time he slows down during the day is when he wants to have a book read to him or to nurse. Breastfeeding Gerrit means I get a cuddle here and there throughout his busy day! And we both enjoy nursing to sleep. It’s very relaxing for both of us, I think. We sit in the glider in his room and just rock back and forth until we he falls asleep. Don’t get me wrong: sometimes it’s not this easy! If he’s not ready to go to sleep, he’ll nurse until he’s satisfied, then he tries to climb all over me or get down to play. Then I put him in his crib and leave for awhile. He either falls asleep on his own (this doesn’t happen often) or he gets tired and starts crying (and then I nurse to sleep).

Gerrit has never been a good sleeper. I can count on one hand the number of times he has slept 6 or more hours in a stretch at night. After sleep started to improve this summer (June & July), it went downhill in August. His night wakings went from 1 or 2 up to 4, 5, or 6 in a night. It was rough. The only thing that helped? Breastfeeding him back to sleep. It was the only thing he wanted. I tried just rocking him back to sleep a few times, but he fussed until I gave him the boob. Like I said… sometimes he just needs the boobie connection!

I originally thought I would breastfeed for about a year. But I’ve read more and more that 1 year is a minimum for breastfeeding. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until age 2 or beyond. So now I’m hoping to make it to age 2! I don’t see Gerrit self-weaning anytime soon, so I’m pleased that we will be able to continue nursing, especially now that he is enjoying it so much. I know that it’s not culturally accepted to nurse past infancy in the USA, so I need to prepare myself for weird looks, questions, and maybe even some rude comments. We rarely nurse in public anymore, but I’m sure it will happen here and there.

I’m so happy that our breastfeeding journey has taken such a positive turn. I feel like Gerrit and I have a closer bond than we’ve ever had, and I love providing nourishment, comfort, and security through nursing. I’ll probably try to do another update around 18 months, unless something drastic changes between now and then. Wish us luck! 🙂